Although it's spooky month, today hits deeper for me personally. The day of this particular post, it would've been a very dear family member's birthday. Unfortunately, earlier this year they left this place to move on to a better life. The only solace our family had was it being before lockdown and COVID-19.
Every day, somebody in the world is remembering someone who left them prematurely. Whether they were a new-born or even 100, someone meant a lot to somebody else. Living with the reality that they'll never see you grow up, get married, even start a family of your own ends up being heart wrenching. To me, that's no different.
Maybe it's because the wound still feels so fresh, but certain things can trigger the pain of loss. Memories, objects, people, you name it. The guilt of not admitting things, the loneliness of not being able to see them physically, the hollowness of not hearing their voice. All of these hurt, and all of them are valid. In fact, every sort of pain when it comes to loss is valid, because it means that it mattered. It means that they were cared for, loved, supported and treasured as a special person to you and to others.
There's a saying "Time heals all wounds", and honestly I don't believe that it'll heal them fully. There will be days you miss them more than others, and there will be days you want to break down and cry. And that's okay! It's natural to want to be upset, or angry or emotional for the people you care about. While I don't believe time can heal all wounds, I do believe that it can help you cope better with the situation as it gives you the strength to keep going.
The person I lost was cherished by all my family, and still is to this day. They were funny, bubbly, full of life and smiles as well as life advice. They made us feel welcome when we visited, and always told us how much they cared. Their stories were captivating and we'd give them as much time as we could just to listen to them go on. These are memories I'll treasure with me always, as will many others who knew them.
It's indeed a sad topic to talk about on Halloween, especially it being my favourite holiday of the year, it stayed my favourite as I got to see one of my favourite people to celebrate their arrival into life too.
But, this sort of thing isn't talked about enough. The fact that people link certain holidays with very sad events. Christmas always has a sad story to tell no matter who you are, but the majority still celebrate it, whether it's in their honour or to bring the family and friends together (well, not with COVID right now).
Many people tend to be affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D), which is when you feel a very big depression in the winter months, usually between September - April, but it can hit anytime. There's different causes for it, whether it's loneliness, grieving or even lifestyle. To explain better, here are some links that'll explain it better than I could :
While I know I don't have this, there's definitely people out there who do feel this way due to unforeseen circumstances, loss included. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to get frustrated. It's okay to hurt. It's hard to be happy all the time, but make sure to always keep the memories of those you cherished as happy as you can.
It hurts, but you're not alone. Just keep going your highnesses - you got this.
Apologies for the sad topic, but have a great Halloween!
-R (31/10/2020)
Side note - If anyone is feeling like they need someone to talk to, I'm always willing to listen, so feel free to email or message.
Thank you so much Feds!
thank you for sharing this with us rox, you are a special soul.